Moms I meet and coach are often scared of becoming the “bad mom.” They constantly tell me about the guilt they carry over the choices they make.

But let me tell you exactly what makes you a bad mom.

It’s probably not what you think. Here's what it is:

1. Never taking care of your body.
When you consistently put movement, strength, rest, and nourishment last, you teach your children that your body—and, by extension, theirs—isn’t worth caring for. Even a 10-minute walk or strength workout shows them that caring for your body is not a choice, it's a responsibility.

2. Skipping meals and neglecting your nutrition.
When you constantly skip meals, or treat your nourishment as optional, you teach your children that women are expected to sacrifice their health for everyone else. A daughter may learn to do the same in her future; a son may learn to expect it from the women in his life.

3. Abandoning your personal goals.
Your children don’t need a mother who gives up every dream for them. They need to see a woman who loves them deeply and still has a life of her own. Pursue the degree. Build the business. Learn the skill. Train for the race. Write the book. Take the class. Let your children watch you work toward something simply because it matters to you.

4. Never setting boundaries.
If you constantly say yes when you mean no, tolerate disrespect, and exhaust yourself trying to keep everyone happy, your children learn that love requires self-abandonment. Boundaries teach them something far more valuable: You can love people and still have limits.

Being a good mother does not mean making yourself disappear.

Take care of your body. Pursue your goals. Set boundaries. Build the life you want.

Because one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is the chance to watch their mother unapologetically live her life.