When we talk about fulfillment in life, we often tie it back to purpose. What’s your purpose? What are you working toward? We assume that without a purpose, we will feel empty.

But there is another factor that often gets ignored: Connection. True, deep connection with other human beings.

According to a 2025 report from the World Health Organization, loneliness affects one in six people worldwide and is linked to an estimated 871,000 deaths annually. This goes beyond wishing you had someone to spend the weekend with. Loneliness can have serious consequences for our health and well-being.

Yet, look at how we treat connection in our everyday lives.

We are “busy.” We don’t have anyone to talk to. And not just talk, truly talk. But somehow, there are hours available for scrolling through our phones and watching screens.

Even when we meet, conversations often stay shallow, formal, and diplomatic. We leave knowing what someone’s children are doing, where they went on vacation, and how busy work has been. But we barely know how they are actually feeling.

And sometimes, when we finally do connect, the entire conversation becomes a list of complaints. About how stressed we are. About how the world is no longer a great place. There should absolutely be room to talk about what is difficult. But there also needs to be curiosity, laughter, appreciation, and interest in each other’s lives.

I once asked a few people, “Do you have anyone in your life with whom you can be your raw, honest self?”

Most of them could name only one person. Some couldn’t name anyone.

People are facing some of their biggest life challenges alone. Parenting struggles. Marriage problems. Grief. Self-doubt. So, they find ways to cope. More work. More scrolling. Food. Alcohol. More distractions. But when those distractions stop helping, then what?

So, what can we do about modern disconnection? It’s a huge problem to face, especially because building a connection requires effort and willingness from both people.

Start by pausing and asking: Are we giving our relationships the effort they truly need?

Finding your tribe matters. Maintaining your tribe matters just as much.

That means getting on the same page about what you want from the relationship and what you can offer each other. Moving beyond vague plans to catch up “sometime.” Creating actual routines to check in and spend time together. Writing to each other. Learning what helps the other person feel supported in times of grief and difficulty. Making space for people to speak honestly without fear of judgment.

It also means taking the risk of making someone feel seen, even if sending flowers or writing a heartfelt card feels a little embarrassing. TAKE THE RISK.

And this becomes even more important when the people who matter to us live miles away. We move cities, travel, and build lives in different places. Maintaining those friendships can become harder, especially across time zones and busy schedules.

Do you have a plan for how you will reach out to one another? Is there a regular call, or is it always “when we get time”? Could you work on a project together that gives you something to discuss? Read the same book? Send voice notes through the week? Share random photos with a simple “This made me think of you”?

Go beyond “Everything is good.” Decide together what works and make the effort to follow through.

Pay attention to reciprocity too. Maintaining your tribe requires people who are willing to make room for you as well. A relationship where one person consistently does all the giving can leave that person burnt out. The balance may shift through different seasons, but the give and take needs to exist.

If you want deep relationships, they need a place in your calendar, not just in your wishes. Are you ready to prioritize connection?