For a long time, I misunderstood humility.

I thought being humble meant expecting less, asking for less, staying quiet, and accepting whatever life or other people gave me.

But I eventually realized that there is a significant difference between real humility and fear masked as humility.

Here is how fear masked as humility shows up:

What if I remove a crappy relative from my life and God punishes me? I should be humble.

What if I need their help someday? Shouldn’t I just be grateful and tolerate it? I should be humble.

It teaches you to tolerate less than you deserve and call it gratitude. It convinces you that shrinking makes you virtuous. At its core, this is a scarcity mindset.

It tells you that if you speak up, grow, set boundaries, or walk away from people who aren't adding value to your life, you will be left alone. It tells you that the universe has only a few people and opportunities available for you, so you must cling to whatever you have.

And then there is real humility. The kind that comes straight from the heart.

We experience it when we watch people do extraordinary things or carry an incredible mindset even when life is hitting them hard.

I felt it when I watched my 78-year-old neighbor fight cancer soon after losing his wife of 50 years. Despite everything he was carrying, he travelled to the dream destinations on his bucket list. I was humbled.

I felt it when I saw a man at the gym maintaining an incredible physique without a left hand. When I spoke to him, he was also one of the kindest people I had met. I was humbled.

I felt it when I saw an older woman selling vegetables in the brutal Texas heat.

I felt it when I saw an 80-year-old man painting one of the college buildings.

I felt it when I saw young adults working on the ground to care for animals in distress.

I feel it whenever I see women doing push-ups and pull-ups after having two or more children.

The examples are endless. Feeling humbled makes you want to rise to their level.

It reminds you how much strength, courage, discipline, and kindness human beings are capable of. It makes you want to bow down to the human spirit and do better with the life you have been given.

Real humility does not reduce your worth. It expands your understanding of what is possible.

So, the next time you feel humbled by something, pause and ask yourself: Is this feeling asking me to shrink in fear, or is it empowering me to rise?