To create a life that you are proud of, requires discipline, discernment, strength, and the courage to lead yourself. It is built by having standards for how you spend your time, energy, attention, and money.

As a former “Nice Girl” who struggled with many of these things, here are my 10 non-negotiables as I create my extraordinary future:

1. Value your time as much as you value everyone else’s.

2. Let people solve their own problems. Focus on your growth. Even your partner is not your responsibility. Parent a kid, not adults.

3. Explain less. Speak less. Ask more and listen more. Data gives you perspective.

4. Read every day. A sharp mind is difficult to manipulate and will guide you as you grow.

5. Go where your presence, ideas, and energy are valued. If they aren’t, choose silence. Energy is everything. Use it wisely.

6. Be bold enough to leave conversations that offer no joy, wisdom, connection, or growth. Do not become a recipient of other people’s “bad moods.”

7. Buy yourself flowers. Add a card. Just like that.

8. Build a strong, fit body. Strength gives you freedom and confidence.

9. Eat healthy, nourishing food 95% of the time. Be disciplined about your goals.

10. Never abandon your values to keep other people happy. The right ones will NEVER force you to abandon them in the first place.

Being admired is more valuable than being liked. A person desperate to be liked is rarely respected.

Quit wasting your time. Start living fully.